Testing “The Secret” Part II

Posted by Chip on 01.21.2009 at 9:28 am

Since last week, the universe has not brought the book The Secret to me. It is my understanding that The Secret teaches the law of attraction and how we can attract the things we desire in life by attracting positive energy through positive thinking. So to test this theory, I will continue to focus positively on the book and see if I can get the universe to manifest The Secret into my life.

Last week, I also brought up the notion that we (human beings) should invent a sarcastic symbol or perhaps a sarcastic font. This would be especially helpful for text messaging and instant messaging purposes. I don’t know who invented text messaging but I am pretty sure it was not a man. I simply can not picture a man sitting around inventing a way to make communicating with women more confusing. <

I have dated *girls that read every text message I send in a sarcastic tone. A text message intended to be sweet and touching can become an argument based on the tone of the reader’s inner voice. “Why did you say I’m looking forward to seeing you like that?!” she would ask.  I didn’t say it anyway, it was a text message.  If we lived in a world with sarcastic font she would know the text message was sincere.

Perhaps a passive aggressive symbol would come in handy for the passive aggressives out there. When my roommates write things on our dry erase board (I call it the passive aggressive board) like “Thanks for not putting the dishes away” a passive aggressive symbol could really drive the point home. Without the passive aggressive symbol, I assume they are unhappy with the way I put the dishes away and I am happy to accept the gratitude.

My coworker Kathryn gave me a confusing gift it was called Spanish for Dummies. I think she thinks I am a dummy but at least she has faith in my ability to learn a language. Books for dummies should only be purchased solely by the dummy who intends to read it. Kathryn is a fan of wine so this year for her birthday I’m gonna surf over to betterworld.com and buy her The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Wine Basics, 2nd Edition*

* I think that last sentence could use a passive aggressive symbol.
* Why is it that most women under 35 prefer to be called girls? I remember when I became a man. I was in high school and ordering a #4 at Subway and the sandwich artist looked at her coworker and said “Make that man’s food.” It was a big day in my life. I was no longer a boy. I was a man.

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